Hi, I’m Zoe, I’m 18, and twenty one pilots has helped me stay alive.
So about two years ago I had a severe struggle with depression, one that resulted in a failed attempt on my life. At the time no one knew about it, so I internalized it and dealt with it by myself. Which may not have been my smartest move, but I did it at the time. It was normal to me. Fast forward a couple years later, and I still struggle with this stuff. It’s a new year though, and I’ve sworn off of those. Like you can do such a thing. That’s not a new year’s resolution that’s actually possible – you can’t control it. Anyways, I’m scrolling through tumblr at the time, like I always do, and I see this video thumbnail. And it’s the video for Stressed Out – aka two grown men on tricycles. I didn’t recognize the name of the band, so I kept scrolling. About a day later, I saw an audio clip on tumblr and the caption was something along the lines of “This is why I love Tyler Joseph” and there was something in the tags that made me curious, so I clicked play… and it was Tyler saying something like “Stay alive…it’s worth it.” Which made me so curious. I had never heard that phrase before. And it was huge to me at the time. So I looked up Tyler Joseph, and found out that he was a part of twenty one pilots and that video with tricycles. So I went and I found the video and I watched it. I want to say I was immediately hooked – and I was… but not in the normal way.
It was in the way that I couldn’t go a single day without watching the video for like two weeks straight. I was obsessed with learning the lyrics so I could sing along. And then I found the rest of the album. And then I found Vessel and so much more. I became obsessed with the music. Just the music at the time. And about halfway through the summer this year I was going through another rough patch, so I put on my headphones and blasted twenty one pilots. But in order to keep my mind from wandering, I listened to the words. And that’s when it hit me like a ton of bricks. I was not alone. Someone out there understood what I was going through. And it will get better. Sometimes it’s still hard for me to believe it. But then I look back at the past two years, and realize that if I had ended my life that one night, I wouldn’t have had the many amazing opportunities I have had, nor would I have met so many amazing people. Twenty one pilots did not save me that night a few years back, but that was because I didn’t know who they were. Now I am still alive because of them – because their songs remind me of the fact that it is worth it. It is ok to struggle. And you’re not alone. If I hadn’t listened to their songs, there really isn’t a doubt in my mind that I would be at a really bad place at this time in my life, I would probably be gone to be honest. But, like Tyler said (or at least what I can remember of him saying in that one sound clip) “Stay alive…it’s worth it.”
So about two years ago I had a severe struggle with depression, one that resulted in a failed attempt on my life. At the time no one knew about it, so I internalized it and dealt with it by myself. Which may not have been my smartest move, but I did it at the time. It was normal to me. Fast forward a couple years later, and I still struggle with this stuff. It’s a new year though, and I’ve sworn off of those. Like you can do such a thing. That’s not a new year’s resolution that’s actually possible – you can’t control it. Anyways, I’m scrolling through tumblr at the time, like I always do, and I see this video thumbnail. And it’s the video for Stressed Out – aka two grown men on tricycles. I didn’t recognize the name of the band, so I kept scrolling. About a day later, I saw an audio clip on tumblr and the caption was something along the lines of “This is why I love Tyler Joseph” and there was something in the tags that made me curious, so I clicked play… and it was Tyler saying something like “Stay alive…it’s worth it.” Which made me so curious. I had never heard that phrase before. And it was huge to me at the time. So I looked up Tyler Joseph, and found out that he was a part of twenty one pilots and that video with tricycles. So I went and I found the video and I watched it. I want to say I was immediately hooked – and I was… but not in the normal way.
It was in the way that I couldn’t go a single day without watching the video for like two weeks straight. I was obsessed with learning the lyrics so I could sing along. And then I found the rest of the album. And then I found Vessel and so much more. I became obsessed with the music. Just the music at the time. And about halfway through the summer this year I was going through another rough patch, so I put on my headphones and blasted twenty one pilots. But in order to keep my mind from wandering, I listened to the words. And that’s when it hit me like a ton of bricks. I was not alone. Someone out there understood what I was going through. And it will get better. Sometimes it’s still hard for me to believe it. But then I look back at the past two years, and realize that if I had ended my life that one night, I wouldn’t have had the many amazing opportunities I have had, nor would I have met so many amazing people. Twenty one pilots did not save me that night a few years back, but that was because I didn’t know who they were. Now I am still alive because of them – because their songs remind me of the fact that it is worth it. It is ok to struggle. And you’re not alone. If I hadn’t listened to their songs, there really isn’t a doubt in my mind that I would be at a really bad place at this time in my life, I would probably be gone to be honest. But, like Tyler said (or at least what I can remember of him saying in that one sound clip) “Stay alive…it’s worth it.”