About a year ago, I was one word away from taking my own life after years of my depression swelling up inside me. I didn't have anyone to turn to. All my life I've felt unwanted and alone. I distanced myself, and immersed myself into my art and my music. Thoughts that rose within my head were ones of a lesser me. There were moments when I'd sit in my car and cry because I was so tired of putting a mask of happiness on everyday.
Around January of 2013, one of my closest friends introduced me to Twenty One Pilots. I fell in love with their sound almost instantly. It was so unique, one of a kind. The song Car Radio really hit home, and when I first heard it, I could feel a pain in my chest and it was like I was meant to hear it. There were so many moments in my life that I've sat in silence and couldn't bare it. Most of my nights then were spent with me covering my mouth and just crying my heart out to whatever ache and pain I had. I made sure that no one could hear me. The same friend that introduced them to me, bought me their cd for my 18th birthday. It has been in my cd player in my car ever since.
During the summer, I found out that they'd be opening for Fall Out Boy in Houston on Sept. 25. My relationship with my mom hasn't been the best, but I took the chance in asking if I could go. It'd be my first concert. EVER. Surprisingly, she said yes. We originally thought we got Pit Passes, but Ticketmaster had a computer error on our tickets. We ended up in the very back section. That didn't bother me, I was blessed enough just going. After their set, my friends and I rushed to the merch table. After my purchase, we rounded the corner and were approached by a guy. He told me that since we were the first he saw buying their shirt, we got an autographed drum head courtesy of the band. I broke down in tears in front of hundreds of people. They were all starring, usually I'd shy away, but I just cried. It was the first time in about 10 years that I've cried with happy tears. We couldn't believe what just happened to us. I cried that night. I haven't been that happy for a long while.
It seems kinda funny saying that their music saved me, but, in a way, it did. Even now, I have moments when thoughts and memories come flooding back into my mind, making me want to opt out. I never realized how many people have been dealing with what I have been dealing with. I know now, that I'm not alone, and never really was. Tyler and Josh will never know just how thankful I am. I hope to one day, thank the two men that helped in saving my life in person. I aspire to be as influential as them one day, and possibly save lives just like them.
Around January of 2013, one of my closest friends introduced me to Twenty One Pilots. I fell in love with their sound almost instantly. It was so unique, one of a kind. The song Car Radio really hit home, and when I first heard it, I could feel a pain in my chest and it was like I was meant to hear it. There were so many moments in my life that I've sat in silence and couldn't bare it. Most of my nights then were spent with me covering my mouth and just crying my heart out to whatever ache and pain I had. I made sure that no one could hear me. The same friend that introduced them to me, bought me their cd for my 18th birthday. It has been in my cd player in my car ever since.
During the summer, I found out that they'd be opening for Fall Out Boy in Houston on Sept. 25. My relationship with my mom hasn't been the best, but I took the chance in asking if I could go. It'd be my first concert. EVER. Surprisingly, she said yes. We originally thought we got Pit Passes, but Ticketmaster had a computer error on our tickets. We ended up in the very back section. That didn't bother me, I was blessed enough just going. After their set, my friends and I rushed to the merch table. After my purchase, we rounded the corner and were approached by a guy. He told me that since we were the first he saw buying their shirt, we got an autographed drum head courtesy of the band. I broke down in tears in front of hundreds of people. They were all starring, usually I'd shy away, but I just cried. It was the first time in about 10 years that I've cried with happy tears. We couldn't believe what just happened to us. I cried that night. I haven't been that happy for a long while.
It seems kinda funny saying that their music saved me, but, in a way, it did. Even now, I have moments when thoughts and memories come flooding back into my mind, making me want to opt out. I never realized how many people have been dealing with what I have been dealing with. I know now, that I'm not alone, and never really was. Tyler and Josh will never know just how thankful I am. I hope to one day, thank the two men that helped in saving my life in person. I aspire to be as influential as them one day, and possibly save lives just like them.