I'm not the typical age of the Clique. I'm a 41 year old mom and wife. I know struggle. I know strife. At 14 my mom became addicted to an awful substance and we ended up living in the park. By that time, I had already been raped 1 time and put a baby up for adoption. I was raped 3 more times throughout my life. Eventually my mom got clean and became the mom she was before. She was my hero. Cigarettes finally claimed her life in 2006 at the young age of 53. I have struggled my entire life. I've struggled with trust, with money, with mental illness, with depression, with anxiety. I've struggled. I gave birth to the reasons for living. Even though as recently as a few days ago I felt like my life had no purpose and that I was just poisoning the people around me, I lived. I had to choose to live because I know 2 people who would crumble and find a way to blame themselves if I chose to stop living. My 23 year old son and my 14 year old daughter. I live for them. It's easy to say you'll die for someone, but suicide is SELFISH. You may get the release from your problems, but your loved ones are left to pick up the pieces and face them alone. So I share my story with Pilot's Pilot so I can help inspire someone to STAY ALIVE!! If you ever want to talk it out, find me on twitter @barbimathisen
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