My story about twenty one pilots isn't a long one, I've only been a fan for a year, but it sure as heck is a meaningful one. I've always loved music, all I used to watch on TV were the music channels. Yet in all my life I never heard anything that made me stop and think "wow". I never felt this deep emotional connection and spiritual connection to sounds until I heard twenty one pilots.
I first heard them when I was drafting my suicide note and simultaneously scrolling through tumblr in September 2014. It was their car radio music video. My breathing hitched and I had this moment where the world kind of stopped and all I could hear were those lyrics. They touched me to the core.
I wish I heard them sooner. I had previously attempted suicide in December 2013. I quit my job, quit my favourite sport, quit everything that had given me joy. The music I listened to had no substance, it annoyed me, where was the meaning? With my chemically imbalanced brain I forgot about that song and attempted suicide again. This time I ended up in hospital. Those weeks were the scariest, hardest weeks of my life and when I got home I remembered that song. I spent hours listening to them, crying into my pillow. It was so emotional, finally connecting to music and words. This recovery period didn't have to be tough anymore because I found...friends.
Now as I write this 11 months later, 11 months clean of self harm, I can say truly thank you Josh and Tyler.
I went to my first tøp concert on 5 July 15, Melbourne. And that was the first time in 3 years that I did not wear long sleeves. I felt safe and comfortable and ready, with my skeleton clique. And I have to thank you for creating that environment.
As Tyler stood on the crowd, smiling out at his friends, he made eye contact with me. My arms were in the air, and I had drawn |-/ above each major scar on my wrist. He saw, and the look he gave was enough to make me choke up. I can still remember that look. I don't know how to explain it, it just...meant everything. That night my mum asked how it was when I got home and I collapsed into her arms unable to say anything. That was the first time we hugged for 3 years. And it was the first time I felt and knew deep down that finally...everything was going to be okay.
So if you're reading this, Tyler and Josh, I want to say thank you. A thank you doesn't feel like enough though, I will forever be in debt to you. You have flipped my world right side up and shown me so much that I was blind to before. I've made friends in the skeleton clique that I know will be my friends for life, and now I am truly not alone. Also you beans make me smile everyday now. So thanks for being huge dorks and totally unlit sick as frick people.
Stay alive.
|-/
I first heard them when I was drafting my suicide note and simultaneously scrolling through tumblr in September 2014. It was their car radio music video. My breathing hitched and I had this moment where the world kind of stopped and all I could hear were those lyrics. They touched me to the core.
I wish I heard them sooner. I had previously attempted suicide in December 2013. I quit my job, quit my favourite sport, quit everything that had given me joy. The music I listened to had no substance, it annoyed me, where was the meaning? With my chemically imbalanced brain I forgot about that song and attempted suicide again. This time I ended up in hospital. Those weeks were the scariest, hardest weeks of my life and when I got home I remembered that song. I spent hours listening to them, crying into my pillow. It was so emotional, finally connecting to music and words. This recovery period didn't have to be tough anymore because I found...friends.
Now as I write this 11 months later, 11 months clean of self harm, I can say truly thank you Josh and Tyler.
I went to my first tøp concert on 5 July 15, Melbourne. And that was the first time in 3 years that I did not wear long sleeves. I felt safe and comfortable and ready, with my skeleton clique. And I have to thank you for creating that environment.
As Tyler stood on the crowd, smiling out at his friends, he made eye contact with me. My arms were in the air, and I had drawn |-/ above each major scar on my wrist. He saw, and the look he gave was enough to make me choke up. I can still remember that look. I don't know how to explain it, it just...meant everything. That night my mum asked how it was when I got home and I collapsed into her arms unable to say anything. That was the first time we hugged for 3 years. And it was the first time I felt and knew deep down that finally...everything was going to be okay.
So if you're reading this, Tyler and Josh, I want to say thank you. A thank you doesn't feel like enough though, I will forever be in debt to you. You have flipped my world right side up and shown me so much that I was blind to before. I've made friends in the skeleton clique that I know will be my friends for life, and now I am truly not alone. Also you beans make me smile everyday now. So thanks for being huge dorks and totally unlit sick as frick people.
Stay alive.
|-/